Wedding Facts
Have you ever wondered why certain things are done at weddings? Most people have but never ask. Chances are that if you were planning your wedding, you probably would like to know why weddings consist of the things they do. To answer the questions, we have provided the answers to all of those unanswered questions:
Bride wearing white
Dating back to the early Roman days, the color white has symbolized a joyous occasion. Then in the early 20th century, it also took on the meaning of purity. Therefore, a bride traditionally wears white because of the joy of her wedding, and as her purity.
Rings worn on the “ring finger”
During ancient times, many people believed that the ring finger had a vein that ran directly to the heart. For this reason, the wedding ring was placed on this finger in that it had the strongest connection of heartfelt love.
Bride wearing a veil
In ancient Greece, the veil was worn as the color yellow, and red in ancient Rome. However, during this era, the bride would be covered from head to foot, indicating her submission and subordination to the groom. Additionally, an old tradition states that if the bride were to be seen by her future husband before the wedding ceremony, it would bring them bad luck. Therefore, she would remain covered until after being pronounced husband and wife, which is still tradition today.
Giving the bride away
Many years ago, women had very few privileges or rights. Typically, the father would “give” his daughter away in exchange for some type of dowry, usually being money.
Something blue – In ancient Israel, blue ribbon was worn around the edge of the wedding cloth. This showed modesty, love, and fidelity, which has remained a part of modern tradition.
Bride being carried over the threshold
Years ago, the bride was kidnapped and dragged to a place or home where she would be kept until the wedding. At one time, marrying outside of your own community was taboo. However, as the options for wives dwindled, the men would sneak over to neighboring communities and snatch a wife against her and her family’s will. Today, it is used more as a respect to the wife in bringing her into her new home.
Honeymoons
During ancient times, again, marriages were often from kidnappings and not because two people were in love. The man would hide her away for 30 days, which allowed the moon to complete all its phases, while drinking brew made from honey, which is where the word “honeymoon” came from although the meaning today is quite different.
Bridal party gowns
At one time, it was traditional for the bride, groom, and all of their friends to meet at the church the morning of the wedding. In fear that they might be spotted marrying someone not approved of by family or being concerned about being seen by a rejected suitor, they would all dress alike, as a way of tricking the evil wishers.
Who pays for all the wedding related expenses?
Traditionally, the parents of the bride paid for the wedding & the reception. This does not include the attire of the attendants, groomsmen or bridesmaids. However, since the average cost of hosting a wedding reception has skyrocketed, couples and their parents may choose to divide the costs among themselves.
Here is a sample breakdown of wedding costs and who pays for that:
Remember, money can cause fights, arguments, and disagreements in relationships. It is better to accept that you got the short end of the stick rather than causing a major disagreement or a fight. Afterall, you are dealing with future inlaws and you should make every effort to get along with your future relatives. If you think you lack diplomacy and tact, ask your friends about the best course to resolve a potential problem.
Summer Weddings
The most popular time of year for a wedding is during the summer. For one thing, many families are planning vacation time so if you have people that need to come from out of town, they can easily incorporate the wedding in with their vacation time. Summer weddings also offer more stability when it comes to weather. You know what to expect for the region where you live, giving you the opportunity to plan accordingly.
As you get ready to plan your summer wedding, you will probably want to choose some type of theme, which is very common. Some couples want something elegant, which might include having a wedding at a local museum, botanical garden, or English garden. However, other couples prefer a casual wedding, which would be perfect for a local park, the beach, or even a barbecue setting. Just remember that there is no right or wrong when choosing the theme or style of your wedding, simply what you want.
The nice thing about a summer wedding is that you can enjoy many of the things that come naturally with this time of season. For example, flowers of all types are abundant, meaning you can choose from a huge variety. The same would be true if you want to provide guests with something casual in that you can use vegetables and plants grown in your own garden. Additionally, you might think about a location near water so people can boat or swim.
Another huge advantage of a summer wedding is that you have much more daylight. This means you can choose to have an afternoon or evening wedding and still have plenty of light. For the afternoon, you might consider a cocktail or tea reception and for the evening, a buffet. Many times, couples will set the time of the wedding to coordinate with the setting of the sun, which creates amazing scenery.
Since many summertime weddings are held outdoors, you want to choose a location that will match your wedding theme or style perfectly. Again, be creative, choose a location that will accommodate the number of expected guests, and look for the best scenic view.
The Procession
1. The Mothers & Grandmothers
Just before the ceremony is scheduled to start and the guests have arrived and been seated, the mothers and grandmothers should be seated in the following manner.
First the grandmothers of the groom are seated—escorted by an usher and followed by their husbands. Then an usher escorts the grandmothers of the bride. The ushers for the grandmothers should be a member of their family if possible—sons, grandsons, etc.
Next the mother of the groom is ushered to her seat and is followed by her husband, if he is not in the wedding party.
Finally the mother of the bride is seated. The mothers should be escorted by one of their sons or another family member who is an usher or by the best man. The seating of the bride's mother signals that the ceremony is starting.
2. The Officiant & Groom
After the bride's mother is seated and the wedding procession is formed in the vestibule, the officiant and the groom enter. They should walk in from the side and stand at the front, facing the guests. If the best man will not be escorting the maid of honor down the aisle, then he should enter with the groom. Traditionally the groom stands on the right side of the aisle with his best man slightly behind him and to his left.
3. The Attendants
There are many possibilities as to how the attendants can make their way to the front of the church.
Consider having the shortest attendants walk down the aisle first—at the front of the church they should line up with the men on the right and the women on the left and tallest to shortest with the shortest being farthest from the bride and groom.
Note: The hesitation step is a trend of the past. The attendants should simply walk down the aisle slowly and steadily!
4. The Flower Girl & Ring Bearer
Who comes first? This is one place where the wedding experts do not agree! Some think that the ring bearer should follow the flower girl and visa versa. This decision we will leave up to you!
If you are having one flower girl and one ring bearer, you could always have them walk together. Another nice alternative is to have two flower girls and one ring bearer; let the girls walk side by side followed by the ring bearer.
The flower girl typically takes her place on the left side of the church next to the maid of honor. The ring bearer typically takes his place on the right side of the church next to the best man. Other arrangements may be made for the children to sit with their parents during the ceremony depending on the child's age and level of maturity.
5. The Bride
Finally the time has come...cue the music—"Here's Comes the Bride"! At this point the congregation should stand and turn to watch the bride and her father their walk down the aisle. This is your time to shine.
Remember to walk slowly and take in the oohs and aahs! Take a moment to make eye contact with your groom as you proceed down the aisle; you don't want to miss his reaction when he sees you for the first time in your wedding gown!
In Christian ceremonies the bride should walk on her father's left. When she reaches the groom's side, her father lets go of her arm and gives her hand to the groom. The congregation remains standing until the father sits down.
Tip: If you are having programs for your wedding, consider indicating the places where the guests should stand and sit. Otherwise your officiant should announce or motion to your guests when to stand and when to be seated. So many weddings are different and it is hard for the guests to know exactly what to do. Make it easy—spell it out!!
Ceremony Seating
"You may be seated"...sounds simple right? Surprisingly there's a great deal of etiquette and tradition for wedding ceremony seating that you and your ushers should be aware of!
Taking Sides
In a Christian ceremony the bride’s friends and family usually sit on the left side of the church and the groom’s sit on the right (when looking from the back to front). The reverse is true for Reform and Conservative Jewish weddings. If one side has many more guests than the other, you may want to dispense with this custom and seat everyone together to achieve a more balanced look.
Ushering
When a couple arrives, the usher should take the woman's arm and escort her to her seat; her escort will follow. The oldest woman should be seated first, if several guests arrive together.
Special Seating Arrangements
The first three or four rows of pews or chairs should be reserved for family and very special friends. No one else should be seated there. The people whom you want to sit in the reserved seating should be notified by pew cards or word of mouth. In some cases these rows are sectioned off by ribbons, meaning they are reserved.
Note: Be certain that your ushers are aware of all special seating arrangements!
Traditionally, your mother and father sit in the first row with your siblings in the second. If you only have one or two unmarried siblings or limited space, they can be seated next to your parents. Grandparents sit in the third row, close friends and relatives in the fourth and so on.
Seating Divorced Parents
In case of divorce, the bride/groom's natural mother traditionally has the privilege of sitting in the first row. If your divorced parents have remained amicable, then your father may sit directly behind your mother in the second row or with her in the first. Otherwise your father may be seated a few rows farther back. However, if you were raised by your stepmother and wish to give her the honor, she and your father may sit in the first row, while your mother sits further back.
"Please Be Seated"
Guests should be seated by ushers as they arrive, from front to back. The mothers of the bride and groom should be seated just before the ceremony begins. Late arriving guests are not escorted to their seats by ushers. They should take seats near the back, preferably via a side aisle.